i did it my way

I had a baby in June. Right in the throws of summer, when children are home, and the sun beats too intensely to spend all day outside.

When I brought my little baby home to meet his three brothers and his one and only sister, they were instantly intensely in love. Everyone was constantly wondering where he was, what he was doing, wondering what he was thinking, commenting on his every feature down to his teeny tiny fingernails.

And they all wanted to hold him.

ALL THE TIME.

We had to set a timer so everyone got to hold the little one the exact same amount of time. Because if you grew up with siblings you know everything has to be fair and everything has to be measured or the crap hits the fan. Truth.

The baby fascination didn't let up all summer. Then fall came and swept three children off to school.

Suddenly all those hands were gone.

And that sweet little baby didn't know what to do with himself.

We and our family full of eager arms had created a monster.

School has been in session for 6 months now. And I still spend the my time holding the monster or putting him down and listening to him cry. Trying not to trip over him as he crawls after me, muttering, "mamamamamama..."

Finally after some dishes are loaded, a meal is made, a mess picked up, I give in. I pick that giant monster up  and hold him. And he calms, he sighs, and he smiles. He knows he got his way.
I smile. I know he got his way today, but I also know something else. I know that many, many days after tomorrow, when that giant monster baby grows into a young boy, he won't be crying after me. He won't mutter mamamama. He won't want to cuddle his mom. But I will have the memories of his tiny baby hands frozen with sleep

 and the feel of his chubby arms wrapped around my neck burned into my heart.  And I will know then that I got my way too.