the first, the last

I can't believe it's already time to post the obligatory "first day of school" pictures. Summer flew by for us this year in a haze of diaper changes and late night feedings.
But what's new? It seems as though my life is flying by.


This kid, my oldest AND my baby at the same time, is entering fourth grade. FOURTH GRADE. I can't even comprehend fourth grade. He has come such a long way from that little stuttering toddler who cracked me up with his imagination on a daily basis.


And this girl, my little rollie pollie chubby baby, just entered first. I mean, I am fully aware that she is not the rollie pollie, chubby, slobbering baby she once was, but I also feel as though someone came in last night and stole that baby and put a wonderful funny little girl in her place. And the thing is I love them both equally, but I am sad.
Sad that I won't get kiss those big chubby baby cheeks.
Sad I won't hear that little stuttering boy blabber on about the parasaurolophus in his head.
And I am sad to know that if this much time has gone by this fast, that I am going to wake up tomorrow to their graduation.
And I can barely handle that thought.

At least I still have these two:






Sometimes that thought gives me a head ache.

in stitches...

In keeping with our theme of this school year, COURAGE, I decided to do something crazy. Something majorly courageous and intimidating. Something that required this old thing:


(I told you it was old.)

It was scary. I could barley recall how to thread the thing. Just look at how intimidating the presser foot looks:

It looks like it could decapitate you very slowly and painfully right?

But I pressed forward through the fear to make these:



and these:
And you know what the craziest thing is? I am pretty sure you can all actually decipher what they are....
PILLOWS!!
It's pretty cool.

Then the craft princess demanded to join in on the fun.
Hailey thought she had died and went to craft heaven learning a new skill. she went crazy sewing little pillows and messing around with the different stitches. As I sat with her, I realized that this sewing thing, is more than stepping out of my comfort zone to learn something, but it's also teaching my daughter. But most importantly, its giving me an excuse to spend time with her. A chance to let her babble at me to her hearts content... saying things like, "mom? camping would be SOOO much better if you could do it in a hotel." (to which I replied "AMEN". To which she asked me why I said that if we are not in church, to which I said, "I don't know", to which she said, "you're weird." to which I tickled her repeatedly.)



moral of the story? sewing in a straight line is like, cool.

The jury is still out though, on sewing with any sort of difficulty involved.

end of summer

We marked the end of summer with our annual fancy family dinner.
Basically its the same old dinner just served on nice plates and goblets holding sparkling pear juice. Oh, and I make dessert.

We reviewed the summer fun.

There was the time Caleb pooped on out front porch for all the neighborhood to see.
The time porter peed in his own face for once.
The time mom threw up while driving on windy canyon roads.
The time uncle Jared did something unmentionable while floating in a raft.
Then the time Caleb received the family's first set of stitches.

Surprisingly though, our summer revolved around more than just gross bodily functions.

There were summer camps,
camping trips,
fishing excursions,
swine flu quarantines,
midnight movie marathons,
lots of happy hour runs to Sonic,
Swimming, swimming, and more swimming.

This summer was full. It was good.
And it is over.

Now onto our new school year and our theme:



Courage.

Courage to make new friends.
Courage to break our bad habits.
Courage to try new things.
Courage to do the hard stuff.
Courage to be our best selves.

Assuming you do this (which you should; and it's not too late to start), what would your family theme be?

school shopping

Today, we shopped for back to school clothes.
Scary.
I learned from last year's experience that we needed to do things a little differently. So this year we set some goals:
A: Leave all children whom are not directly involved behind; (i.e. porter and CALEB). We always tried to make this a family event, but unfortunately we see now that for sanity's sake this cannot be so.
B: Convince Jonas that there are other clothes on the planet than pajamas. And that once your favorite shirts get holes in them, you must retire them. And that as a fourth grader, it's time to stop being lazy and pick the shoes with the laces already.
C. Forbid Hailey from buying anything pink. And brown. (And if you think for one second that this will work, you DO NOT KNOW MY DAUGHTER.)
D. Refuse to buy jeans when it's too hot to even wear them yet; because by the time we pull them out, we will discover that our children have grown 6 inches and can no longer wear them.

The outcome:

- The little boys were left behind (with dad), screaming from the terrible act of being separated from their mother. (I just love leaving like that)
- I did convince Jonas that there was life beyond pajamas, but not that there is life beyond skulls and cross bones and very ugly tee shirts.
- I was not successful in securing Jonas shoes with laces.

- Hailey bought pink. And brown. I think her closet is a sea of pink and brown... BUT, we were able to snag a blue item in there as well! Go me!


- We bought jeans. I mean 10$? How could we not? But at least I only bought one pair each. (I am patting myself on the back as I type, which is really rather difficult).

The fashion show was interrupted again this year by a screaming baby apparently being starved by his neglectful parents...



and a small boy in his underwear.

report cards

Every year we have a back to school dinner. Last year, I decided it would be a good time to introduce a family theme/goal to work on. Last year's was this:


This week, as I have been thinking of the new theme, I have also contemplated our progress on working hard.

Brian's grade: A
Clearly Brian gets points for being the only bread winner, but he gets extra credit for graduating, and working long hours, traveling, and pretty much working non-stop. He did get docked several thousand points for screwing up my plans several times due to him working unexpectedly and missing like my entire ninth month of pregnancy (which lets face it, that alone should have flunked him), but due to all his extra credit, he shot back up to grade A.

Jonas' grade: B+
Jonas worked pretty hard in school this year.... at first. But by the first parent teacher conference I had a cute teacher trying her best in a positive way to say what I already know about Jonas: somewhere in his head is a world. A wonderful place that only he can go; a place for him to ponder the wonders of the universe. But it's a place that is so vast, he frequently loses himself and has a tough time finding his way into the world in which we all reside. Luckily we welcome him back every time. At school, he improved a ton, he now only reserves his retreat for special times at home like whenever he is required to work.

Hailey's grade: B+
Hailey was like the worlds GREATEST student this year. She obeyed every single rule to a "T". She treated homework like it was a trip to Disneyland. She was so enthusiastic about everything. At home she was a big helper, a fabulous babysitter for all the babies frequenting our house, and she made lots of new friends. But Hailey lost points for OVER competitiveness. If there was a compliment made to any one member of the house, she left in tears sure that no one would love her again. Ever. She was sure she was minutes from being dropped at some random orphanage's doorstep with a note pinned to her that says, "Please take care of me... and dress me in pink."

Caleb's grade: C
worked hard. he worked REALLY hard. The problem was, his hard work was in all the wrong places. Caleb worked on learning to tell a lie. He would ask for chocolate milk at 10 PM and I would say no, it's bedtime. He would then go ask dad who would counter with the classic: "ask your mom", and he would then tell him that mom said yes.
He also perfected his skills in the areas of: making messes, teasing, breaking things, and throwing monstrous tantrums.
I know, sounds like an F grade, BUT
Caleb saved me from the torment of changing a toddler's diaper by deciding once and for all to give up the diaper, therefore he bumped a couple of grades to pass.

Porter's grade: A
Porter spent most of the year working hard by growing to massive proportions. He did so well in this area, he managed to outweigh all of my other massive children at birth. He is currently working hard at tolerance. Tolerance for all those little hands in his face and bouncing him around and "accidentally" waking him up.
He has also been conducting experiments by seeing just how far he can shove his fist down his throat.
He's just too cute to be given anything else, really.

my grade: ???
well I can't very well grade myself can I? My only option is to hand this one over to the husband.
Brian?

sometimes they come back

I have a black hole in my house. I am pretty sure everyone does.
Its the place where things go for an indefinite period of time.
The black hole eats like a bird: small (it usually only takes one item out of a pair), and frequently.
If the black hole has legs, I imagine they are warmed with hundreds of layers of mismatched socks. The black hole LOVES socks.
But the black hole cannot be very big. I know because it never takes large items. Sometimes I wish the black hole would take a misbehaving kid or two.

It doesn't seem interested in that.

But the black hole isn't something to be overly concerned with.
Because the thing is, the black hole, has a conscience; the moment you announce that the certain item is lost forever and you buy yourself a replacement, well that is the moment the black hole decides to spew back out your missing item. Then there it is.
Alls well that ends well.

You see, the bigger problem here is this:
If you have one of these in your house, you have trouble.

I have one.
It has taken my keys.
I want them back. But the Bermuda Triangle takes things FOREVER. It's just something you have to accept; that you will never get those precious things back.

But I am not going down without a fight. So I tried to bargain with the Bermuda triangle. I offered it half the fat off my butt, my stomach and my thighs in exchange for my keys...

it was a no go.

But I am not going to give up; I have other chips with which to bargain. For example, I have loads of "creative" art work from my kids and a rock collection I would be willing to part with. I also have a collection of glass root beer bottles under Jonas' bed I wouldn't mind having disappear. But the most valuable collection is several thousand articles of my husbands clothes. I am hoping that is the clincher.

But if none of that works, my next plan is to gather up all the kitten of the month calenders in the world and offer them as a sacrifice. That ought to do the trick.

meeting up with the inevitable

I have a super mom. Honestly. By that I don't mean that she bends steel with her pinkie or flies, but rather that she has super human powers in the way of homemaking. It was her major in college; she taught it for years to junior high kids. She cooked full on Sunday family dinners for her family since she was 12. She taught herself to refinish cabinets. She taught herself the art of reupholstering. She became and expert seamstress sewing for nearly everyone I know. And she quilts entirely by hand like no body's business.
Once I came home and saw new wooden chairs outside. I asked her what they were and she very nonchalantly replied she built them HERSELF. Out of SCRAP WOOD. She just whipped them up that afternoon.
She has a day of the week reserved for every household duty.
Monday is laundry. ALL THE LAUNDRY IS DONE IN ONE DAY. Even if she had to stay up until 2 am to finish it (which I imagine you would have to with 7 kids) she did.
Tuesday is gardening, canning, and yard work.
Wednesday is shopping and Dr/dentist appointment day.
Thursday is deep clean.
Friday was her project day.
Saturday was soccer day. If you have 5 kids that play soccer, you do nothing other than attend game after game on the weekends, trust me.

And the thing is, she thinks she is normal.

My entire life I have benefited from her super human skills.
I use her sewing skills whenever I need a skirt or a Halloween costume.
I use her quilting skills whenever I need new bedding.
I call on her to "help" me reupholster my ugly furniture.
I call upon her knowledge to know how to get a stain out.
I bring her to the nursery to help me pick out the right flowers for my yard.
I pick up freshly canned jam from her house rather than attempt canning my own.
I call her from the grocery store to know how much meat to buy to serve a group of 10.
I think there was a period of a year where I called her with some cooking question every single time I cooked.
In short, I have taken advantage of my mother's super human nature in every way possible.
But I never bothered to learn it from her.
I mean, why try the impossible right? I did not inherit her super gifts. AT ALL.
I mean it, I am scary around a sewing machine. When we were asked to make potholders in Home EC in 7Th grade, Mine turned out to be the only circular square in the entire class. And the pattern sewn onto it (a star) was completely UNINTELLIGIBLE.
My rolls never turn out right.
I still don't know how many pounds of brisket to buy for a group of 10.
I can't quilt, reupholster, or refinish cabinets.
I still can't get blood, grass, or mud stains out of my clothes.
And I kill every living plant I have ever tried to grow.
And my laundry is never done. ever.

I never bothered to learn from my super mom because I just assumed she will always be there. I'll learn later, I would tell myself, when I have more time. (yes, I really am that stupid.)

But on August 24Th my time is up. My mom and dad are heading to other side of the world to live in south Africa for 18 months while serve a mission for our church.
So rude of her, right?
I mean, she didn't even ask my permission. She didn't even make sure I was grown up enough to handle my own household.
I am just not sure how I am going to make it through the next 18 months without turning to my mom for every little piece of advice.

I guess I have no other choice but to here and now, at 30, start growing up.

But I fully intend to grow right back down as soon as she comes home. I figure it wont be too late to learn her super mom ways.
And every super human should pass their abilities to a new generation, that's what I always say.

all that we could do

Brian and I have been parents for over 9 years. Somehow, I am not sure how, we have never gone on a family vacation. We have gone places, mostly camping, but it has always been with family. This road trip was the first vacation for our kids, where we did what we wanted to, when we wanted to.
We pondered all we could do.

We could do things like stop at a park. For as long as we wanted.

Which would turn out to be long enough to realize why they don't make these things anymore.

We could stop to stay at circus circus in Reno, because we felt like it. then we could spend the evening playing carnival games and winning obscene amounts of stuffed animals we DO NOT NEED.
We could sleep in and wake up and drive around aimlessly. We could find strange things and stop and look at them. We could wonder why shoes grow on trees in Virginia city.



We could pay 10 bucks to get into a mark twain museum that had only one thing of value:



We could stroll around the town Mark Twain lived in, with nothing special to do. We could see this sign. We could just wander in there.

We could see a sight reminiscent of Willie Wonka's chocolate factory and we could succumb to the begging and pleading of our children and decide to let our kids go crazy because we are on vacation.

We could then be embarrassed by the amount of money we just spent on candy until we hear the person behind us spend 50$. Then we could feel better.

We could stop to take pictures near strangely named stores.

On our way to our next destination, we could stop for lunch at a pretty little lake because we feel like it. And because those windy roads would be making mommy car sick.

We could let the kids splash around and attempt building sand castles. We could take our time, because our time would have been all we had to be concerned with.
We could kill time in the visitors center of the caleveras big trees state park.

We could let Caleb talk to dead animals, and we could just let him keep believing they are real and just being REALLY still.

Then we could kill time taking pictures near a wooden bear. We could pretend it was alive and that everyone was running away from it after Hailey had been taken as a casualty.
We could then meet up with family that we never get to see [sarah and cody and lexi] and enjoy them while we hike through a forest of REALLY BIG TREES.

I told you they were big.

We could wake up the next morning and head to lake Tahoe. We could fall in love with the beauty of that lake and wish we lived there.
We could spend all day long at different beaches of the lake.
We could build sand castles.
We could splash around with cousins.
We could bury our children in the sand, because we like to keep them still.


We could let our child feed the birds and listen to him lecture them on sharing.

We could watch our children soak up this vacation. Every minute of it. We could let them do everything they want to, because we can. We could have more fun than we could remember having. We could make memories and inside jokes. We could get home late, exhausted but smiling with the knowledge that we, as parents, just gave our kids one really cool family vacation.

I will survive?

I love road trips. I really do. I love the chance to blast my music, listen to Les Miserables all the way through, eat beef jerky and sunflower seeds all day long, and ask strange questions at my husband for hours on end. (I know this is a highlight of any trip for him too.) I love stopping as stretching my legs in different places and I love reaching the destination. Recently, I have been telling my husband that I miss road trips.

So being the thoughtful guy he is, decided to plan one for us this summer.

To Here:

(Lake Tahoe, Emerald Bay)

And Here:

(The Sequoia national Forest)

Sounds so fun right? I know.

It's just that I forgot to mention one tiny detail. I neglected to clarify that I miss road trips that don't include these:

Heaven help me, I am going on a road trip with these four "lively" children.

Survival is questionable.