Not Much

There is not much better than these:

(Dear Easter Candy, you are the best. That is all.)

There is not much better than seeing all these little cousins together:

There isn't much better than taking terrible pictures of yourself and your friends. One that makes one person look like a creepy background stalker, and another look like a creepy snuggler and yourself look like a creepy beached whale:

(I love my growing collection of photos that make me laugh at a glance.)

There is not much better than reading a good book (how many different posts have I said that same sentence in?) Currently enjoying:

There is not much better than having a lap big enough for story time with two:

Not much better than planning a huge surprise for the kids. One that involves pulling out the travel bags:

There is not much better than Friday.

Happy Friday everyone!

Things I know for sure: 6

Wish lists are fun to make.

That's why I don't care that my husband never has any clue about what to give me when he is attempting to give me a gift for my birthday. I know, without fail he will ask me to make a list, and he knows without fail, I will respond with totally unpractical gifts listed like:

A cure for diabetes,
For Charlie Sheen to go away and leave the world alone,
A winning lottery ticket,
For children the happily skip off to their beds when asked.
An invisibility cloak,
And a magic pill for instant weight loss.

Sometimes I make more tangible, but still unrealistic wishlists like:

Two of these:

or something like this for my backyard:

Or that ever illusive item always topping my list:

I make these lists every year, but he knows and I know that I am overjoyed with 

A babysitter, 

A good meal at a good restaurant, 

A movie, (on the occassion they don't all suck)

And a few good books.

We are creatures of habit, my husband and I. And I wouldn't have it any other way. I know that for sure.

boring thoughts this morning...

Why AsianSingles keep emailing me, telling me that people want to meet me. I don't want to meet them.

Why people post articles on FaceBook about their weird child care ideas like they are fact instead of opinion.

When I can take a little trip to St. George. I need some red rock and sun!

Or maybe Hawaii? How much does it cost to get myself to Hawaii? Oh, and my husband too? (Alicia??)

If the book I am reading is worth any more effort. I just want to move on to the next one!

If I enjoyed watching Steven Tyler on American Idol last night. He has grown into one creepy old man, hasn't he?

If anyone reading this right now is remotely interested. [not likely]

When my blogging mojo will come and join me again.

My apologies.

Dear husband III

It's almost Christmas! I know we don't do gifts for each other, but I think we should start. I mean, stuff is cool. And if you felt so inclined, the following stuff is the coolest:


#1  Sleep. The uninterrupted kind. The kind childless people get. Remember that? [insert nostalgic sigh here]

#2  A door that closes for our master bath. Because I am a fan of closed bathroom doors. Especially when I am in them.

#3   A ticket to the 21st century so I can get something fancy like a phone that is more than just a phone. It's got the Internet! A GPS! A gaming system! A personal chef! A maid! The list goes on and on.

#4  A time waster that comes in the form of an ipad. Because I am a fan of wasting time.

#5  Another home phone. Why in the crap do we have one home phone in this 3000+ square foot house? And why can I NEVER find it?

#6  A set of children that actually knows what a garbage can is and how to use it.

#7 A pair of slippers to complete my whole, "I don't get dressed anymore" look.

#8 A trip to the spa for an eyebrow wax. (have you seen me lately?)

#9 The Dogwhisperer, but for toddlers. The toddlerwhisperer. Someone to tell me what that kid wants already. ( I am so over the screaming, aren't you?)

#10 A treadmill to serve as a constant blaring reminder of my failures.

 Okay, nix number 10... I already have a mirror.

But really what I want most is for you, my dear overworked and underpaid husband to relax and enjoy this holiday season. You deserve it.

Oh and P.S. While you are relaxing and enjoying, could you make good use of your hands and give me a back rub?I mean, hey, there is a limit to my generosity.

it's time for another list...

These are things that don't make sense to me:

Snow in March.

Snow in March on a day when the kids are out of school.

Snow in March on a day when the kids are out of school and at each other's throats.

How sleeping in until 7:30 is like a total luxury to me.

The way I can manage to be the BEST MOM EVER!!!! and the WORST PARENT EVER!!! all within 5 minutes time.

Celebrities that jump on a political soap box to encourage us to do our civic duty and vote (which I whole heartily believe), but then get busted for not paying their taxes for YEARS.

Lady Gaga

How buffalo wings got their name. I mean, the seasoning on those wings does NOT taste like a buffalo. TRUST ME.

The hype about the book Eat, Pray, Love.

The hype around in and out burger.

A man's ability to sleep through the sounds of crying children.

How you go through something crappy and you know you were supposed to learn something from it and you do, but then you find yourself going through the same thing a few years later. (does that make any sense?)

Why Hailey's shots hurt sometimes.

The way I sing patty cake. Makes no sense at all.

Why children's lullabies are so morbid.

And finally....

Snow in March.


Did I say that already?

I love funny things

Funny things I love....


When people request your friendship on facebook that never really wanted your friendship in real life.

That Jonas does his best to get out of church every Sunday, not because he doesn't want to go, but because he hates dressing up that bad.

That my good grammar goes out the door when talking to a baby.

Jumping out and scaring my husband.

That Caleb constantly has to tell us, "You forgot... I in charge."

That Porter has an irrational fear of basketballs and bursts into tears at the sight of one.


That my mom, a college graduate hangs on to small town roots by using the phrase,
"I use ta could".


What funny things do you love?

love is...

love is....

Waiting a day to watch 24 so you can view it with your spouse.

Getting up to check your 7 year old at 2 AM every night, and then gently and patiently convincing her into drinking juice when all she wants to do is sleep.

Someone dropping you at the curb at target and waiting in the car so you have curb side pick up and a kid free shopping experience.

Being understanding (eventually) when your parents tell you you are too young for a cell phone.

Eating the burned rolls and not saying anything.

Tag teaming the kid's bedtime routine.

Someone knowing what to order for you at a restaurant.

Not complaining when you really, really want to.

Not killing your husband when he volunteers you for things.

Changing a diaper. Deeper love is changing a toddler's diaper.

Letting your mom touch you on the shoulder when you are an almost 10 year old boy.

Playing the same game every single day with a 3 year old that always changes the rules to make the game last longer.

Willingly cleaning the toilets where boys live.

Not saying a word while your husband eats black licorice next to you and fills up the room with it's intolerable stench.

What is love to you?

secret love

I secretly love embarrassing my kids. I love getting that exasperated look they give me when I have done something dorky.

I secretly love it when my kids sleep over in our room...(as long as it's a sleepover and not and extended stay)

I secretly love cleaning out my kids ears.

I secretly love when my kids get sick... because of all the cuddling action.

I secretly love being in charge of the remote.

I secretly love filling out all that student information paperwork at the beginning of the school year.

I secretly love shopping for office supplies.

I secretly love going through the kids backpack and getting stuff for the parents.

I secretly love making my kids an after school snack. It makes me feel like such a mom.

I secretly love getting email. I check it 4 times a day.

I secretly love a teeny bopper show on ABC family called Make it or Break it. It's about gymnastics... and teenaged love.

I secretly love cats.

That was a total lie. Just checking to see if you were with me.

What are your secret loves?

good vs. bad

This is good about today:
Lost is back on! And it's almost over (that means lots of answers).
Here is what is bad about today:
The stupid groundhog saw his shadow. I hate groundhogs.

Another good thing: My two smallish, night-owlish, bed-hoggingish boys slept in their own room ALL NIGHT LONG.
Bad thing: I had to go in there and re-tuck them in about 26 times ALL NIGHT LONG.

Another good thing: I am having lunch with a friend!
bad thing: I am having lunch with a friend AND two small boys.

Good thing: I remembered to put Hailey's insulin in her lunch box for the nurse (as opposed to me totally forgetting it yesterday).
Bad thing: Jonas' lunch is still on the counter.

When I add it all up today, I think good will overcome...

And if I could just get my hands on that groundhog's neck it would the perfect day.

raising kids

I believe it's time for a new post. Unfortunately for you, lack of creativity always leads me to lists. I love lists. They make my random thoughts seem less random. So without further ado....

raising kids means:

1. Bruising on your butt from sitting on one too many sharp toys.

2. Mutilated feet from stepping blindly on legos or matchbox cars in the middle of the night.

3. Sleep deprivation that causes you to forget key ingredients in recipes that you know backward and forward.

4. The plans you make will most assuredly change due to vomit, pee, or tantrums.

5. Most surfaces in your home are coated with some sort of sticky substance.

6. Laundry is never done.

7. Nothing is ever done.

8. Quiet is something you only see on horror movies.

9. Extra doses of humility due to all the honest comments kids can mutter. (like the time a little girl behind me asked her mom in a not so hushed voice why my butt was so big.)

10. Naps are something you force on little people, not a luxury you spend on yourself.

11. You begrudgingly adopt terrible phrases like, "because I said so." or "I'm the boss." or "I am going to turn this car around."

12. Hot summer days are spent outside sweating watching kids on a slip n slide and making snow cones when you would so rather be spending it directly in front of the air conditioner reading.

13. Reading the same paragraph in your book for 3 days straight.

14. Getting used to telling people sorry in the grocery store as they pass by your kid who is obliviously blocking their way.

15. Hearing things like, "thank you" or "today was so fun" makes you feel like the Michael Phelps of moms.

These are my random thoughts for the day. Sorry to subject you to them, but you made it through, so congratulations for that. And now you can say that you started and completed at least one thing today. You now have my permission to feel productive.

evidence

It's officially summer around here.
I know this for many reasons.
And because I don't have anything interesting to post about I will list them here. I also considered photo evidence but was too lazy to take the photos.

summer evidence:

1. Our front porch is littered with bikes and sidewalk chalk and jump ropes and all other various outdoor activities.

2. The pool is open and cleaned and ready.

3. Jonas received his summer buzz cut and is enjoying the bliss that comes with not having to comb his hair.

4. The library fines are paid up and the library basket is perpetually full.

5. We have begun to take advantage of happy hour at sonic. (lemon berry slush... mmmm)

6. My family gathers around the TV to watch so you think you can dance (even though we considered protesting it when the bald brother didn't make it)

7. Summer camps and memberships have been purchased. (this year it was thanksgiving point)

8. Dinner is being served later and almost 100% of our meals have something grilled. (this is just my way of having husband participation)

9. The sibling arguments have been kicked up a notch thanks to them seeing each other 24 hours a day.

10. Otter pop wrappers are everywhere. on the kitchen counter, on the coffee table, in the bathroom, pretty much everywhere but in the garbage can.

All this evidence adds up to summer. Ready or not, here it is. What's your summer evidence?

the good and the bad, the peace and the quiet

My husband took the three older kids camping this weekend, leaving me alone at home with one tiny baby. There are both good and bad things about this.

Good:
1. I got me some SLEEP! I was reminded of what is was like to have just one tiny little baby that slept 20 hours a day. Sigh... it was nice to relive that this weekend.
2. This is probably the first time in a year that my laundry has been all caught up. But once those kids walk in with their camp fire smelling clothes, that will go right out the door.
3. I had the chance to sit and focus on Porter's little face and study it. I have discovered a favorite look he pulls. After he sneezes, His eyes bug out and he gets this look like he was just in another dimension and he is wondering how he just got back. It's priceless.
4. The house stayed relatively clean. And spill free for a few days. I'm pretty sure that is a record for the books.
5. There is nothing like a little alone time to make you reflect and renew your appreciation for your family. Especially the husband that changes the light bulbs (doing laundry in the dark is a lot more time consuming than doing laundry with light). And the husband that takes out the garbage. It is sitting by me right now, stinking up the joint.

Bad:
1. I realized how total silence in a LARGE, empty house at night can be a little creepy. I channeled my husbands OCD for checking the doors to make sure they were locked. Which takes half the night because there are like a thousand doors on this house.
2. I spent way too much time and money downloading songs off itunes. Loving her (listen to "it doesn't hurt") and this. and this.
3. I wasted a lot of time watching stupid movies that I never cared to take time to watch before like Flashdance.
4. While camping, Brian got the privilege of taking Caleb to his first visit to the ER for stitches. (apparently Caleb is so efficient at being pathetic, he managed to make the nurse cry.)
5. I had grand plans of being very productive; Porter, however, had plans of getting all his mommy cuddling time in. He won.

All in all, it was a nice, quiet, much needed restful weekend. And I have a feeling my kids will be having me pay for it all next week.

slightly depressed

Yes I am. For several reasons. Which I will grace you with now. I know you read my blog to see what I will whine about next, and well, I aim to please so here you go....


- I am slightly depressed about the fact that this family had all the cousins under one roof and we tried to take pictures and NOT ONE turned out (from my crap camera at least. The best I got was this girl cousins pic. (the daisy in Hailey's hand was there to represent our sweet angel cousin Maisie and was actually supposed to be seen. Oh and the kids were supposed to be looking at the camera and smiling. Oh and you weren't supposed to see the red wall. Oh and the shot was not meant to be blurry.)

-I am slightly depressed about the fact that pretty much no one is blogging. And yes I mean you. I mean where did you go people? Doesn't anybody love me anymore? (don't answer that.)

- I am slightly depressed about winter. and cold. and snow. and that I live in the midst of those things.

- I am slightly depressed about friends. One certain one felt it necessary to go back to work and make her life even more crazy busy... sniff. Another thought it would be cool to brag on her blog about going to Hawaii TWICE in the next few months. (heartless, i know).

- I am slightly depressed about taking pictures that I really think will turn out cute but some kind of extremity, let's say toes, has to go and get in the way.

- I am slightly depressed that money doesn't grow on trees.

- And finally I am slightly depressed that there are still 100 days left in my pregnancy. I don't love pregnancy; luckily, my kids have been worth the crappy 9 months so far... keeping my fingers crossed for the next one.
This brings me to a small tip. If you think there is a good chance you will have ugly or bratty children, my advice is to skip the pregnancy thing. You would only feel cheated in the end.

So go on, let me hear something that will wipe away the depression. You're up...

love is in the air

At this moment I am in love with....

1. the fact that lost is back on. If you don't watch it, I am both sorry for you and envy the free time you are enjoying not being chained to the TV on Wednesdays like me.

2. violins

3. communicating with Jonas' teacher via email. so quick and productive and easy! I love this century.

4. this woman's attitude. After such a horrible ordeal, to smile and joke about all her pain... I admire her greatly.

5. diet coke with lime.

6. seeing my husband on a regular basis. (so this is what a marriage is like!)

7. blankets

8. Tums. I couldn't survive without them. Sometimes I wonder if I can survive with them.

9. Patience. It really is true when they say that the absence of something makes the heart grow fonder.

what are you in love with?

I don't hate new years resolutions...

I don't. I just am no good at sticking with them.
But January 1 always finds me thinking on the years past and things I want to improve on. It is a beginning, after all.
*Without fail every year, January brings a deep clean to our home. We have already tackled the clutter and are thoroughly enjoying our organized cleanliness. I remain hopeful we can actually keep our little space this way.
*Without fail every year, January finds someone in our house staring in a pale faced shock at the number on the scale. (those evil two months of November and December wreak havoc on us). Already this month we have resolved to healthier habits and hoping they will stick this time.
*Without fail every year the husband and I make a more concerted effort to be more spiritual. This January has already come with releasings for both of us as well as new callings and we are excited to be able to go to classes and sit by each other for the first time in our marriage. Our goal in this area is to accept these new callings and actually do a good job with them... we'll see if I can handle this one.
* With the recent graduation for the husband, family change has been on our minds. We have a goal of spending more time together since we pretty much haven't seen each other since 2005. This goal should last all of 4 1/2 months until the little addition arrives.
* Also considering the recent graduation of the bread winner, we are hoping to change residences at some point this year. No one needs to twist my arm on this one.

These are a sampling of the "resolutions" I am attempting now. I reserve the right to add to this list and to dump one when I see that it is too hard; because at this stage in my life, I embrace the quitter inside of me.

Dealing with it.... sort of

You know those times in life where you cannot possibly juggle everything on your plate? I know you do, we've all had them; chances are you are struggling with it right now. If you are not, good for you; and gear up. Your time will be coming shortly. Back to the point, I am in that phase of life and I have decided today that are some things I will deal with this weekend and some things I will drop. Here is my list.

Here are the things I am not willing to deal with today:

1. Throwing up. I have decided I am no longer going to do it. I am just waiting for my body to agree.

2. My kids room. It looks like the Toy and Clothing monster ate too much and blew chunks all over the room. I think I will just close the door.

3. My van. I can barely see through the sticky fingerprints on the back windows. There are little leaves, bits of paper, and little toys occupying space in every nook and cranny. And something smells very old. I don't want to know what it is.

4. The fact that Saturday used to be a fun day and instead is now the day where Brian has his marathon 8 hour class. Oh and then he has lovely 8 hour BYU games. (okay the game time is slightly exaggerated.)

Here are the things I am willing to deal with today:

1. Blogging. Hooray! I have never gone 2 weeks without blogging since I started, and I am determined to post way more often seeing as how I will no longer be sick. (see above)

2. Laundry! Maybe it is just that we are all on our last pair of everything, but I am getting it ALL DONE tonight if it kills me. And it just may.

3. The Christmas tree. I have got it up and going and I am determined to have it all finished tonight. Why so early you ask? Because I am not a decorator, and it takes a long time to put up all that crap and I am not about to put it up for a mere few weeks.

4. Crafting with Bri. We have lots of seasonal stuff stirring around in our heads and I am itching to finally finish a project.

5. Christmas shopping. Braving the malls? No, no no. I am not a shopper. I am talking about online shopping. Bless the people at amazon. Bless them and their free shipping.

Here's to you and all the balls you are juggling. May you be as successful at dropping some of them and turning a blind eye, as I have been.

my desires today

1. this drink:



2. to not have to change another poopy diaper in my lifetime.
3. to return to my daily routine.
4. for the laundry fairy to hurry up and come already.
5. to not have to learn a disco routine for young women's tonight.
6. to go to bed and to wake up feeling well.
7. to go to bed and to wake up skinner.
8. for the presidential elections to just hurry up and end to put me out of my misery.
9. to remember what it was like to have a good blog post idea.
10. to see less of this:

Today's Random Wants:

(note: items are subject to change without notice. )

A camera. A real live one. I watched "The Secret". And I have waited and envisioned it and everything, but for some reason it doesn't magically appear like its supposed to...

A home. A real one. Not a borrowed one. One in which I can do what I please when I please.

A maid service. I mean just for the day. And especially for my bathrooms, because they are rather disgusting...

A quick and easy way to make money at home. No, not Mary Kay, Pampered Chef, jewelry by design, words on walls, diet drinks or data entry. Like, something I could do that would require no effort, but just pay me a lot of money. Having a hard time finding something along those lines.

A smaller butt. Because today I went to a scrapbook sale and I noticed that my butt was in a lot of people's way. It's even in MY way. And that's definitely not not a good thing.

And finally, world peace. Because I am selfless like that.

weekend by numbers

8.... days until school starts. Which meant that this weekend, it was time for our annual date with accompanied school shopping. This is where Hailey dies and goes to clothing heaven, where everything is pink and sparkles and the angelic choir sings High School Musical songs. This is where Jonas dies and goes to spirit prison where we drag him around torturing him with the idea of shirts with collars. And we say the word UNDERWEAR out loud. In regards to him. Then he doesn't talk to us for an hour. And he doesn't perk up until he hears the word lunch.... actually the word soda.
7 .... hundred number of times Hailey gasped with delight and twirled and raised her voice to a higher pitch than I had ever known existed, exclaiming that THIS WAS THE CUTEST THING EVVVVEERRRRRR!
6..... pairs of jeans purchased in boot cut, carpenter, straight leg, slim fit, classic fit, and sickeningly sparkly. All with adjustable waist pulled to the max because apparently my kids have the waists of starving children.
5...... rather large and loud tantrums thrown by Caleb. Despite my being prepared with suckers and chocolate milk and his blankey and his mute button (pacifier), and a buzz lightyear. Lovingly, he gave us at least one tantrum in every store just to provide us with a reminder that 2 year olds can just make life a lot more interesting. And loud. It can also provide you with the opportunity to receive ugly stares from people whose children obviously NEVER behave that way.
4...... stores visited. Each one was spent reminding Hailey she didn't need everything in the store and that there are more colors than pink and brown. and that glitter and jewels can in fact be used in excess. On the other hand we spent the time in each store, begging and pleading Jonas to choose something to wear. Anything. Anything other than boxers and a old t-shirt... please. I would have even let him buy a Spongebob shirt. I was desperate.
3...... hundred dollars we started the day with. we ended with a LOT less.
2...... number of parents who felt that they had been beaten with a blunt object due to the cost, the stress, and the noise level of the entire day.
1..... backpack purchased. This is the first year we have no character back packs! It was a very close call with a Camp Rock back pack but thankfully, the pink camouflage won Hailey over in the end.

And the day ended with a rather impressive fashion show, which was interrupted briefly by a naked 2 year old streaker. I think it was politically motivated.

random tidbits of information

I finished the book. (for those of you who care.)
Also, for those of you who care what I thought about it, I thought it was ok.
I love today's overcast sky.
My kids are in a constant state of fighting today. (I am not loving this.)
I wish my kids were starting school today.
I wish I had enough will power to eat a raw foods diet.

My camp crafts are coming together nicely. I am excited to see what the girls think of them.
Making stuff makes me happy.
So does Jason Mraz.
So does uploading pictures and finding some gems from Hailey like this:

I wish I had never rented Daddy Day Camp from redbox. (My kids begged me to, I swear).
I wish I knew a dentist that would work on my family for free, because I am so darned cool.
I think this is a total fun-see-in-the-theater-with-girl-friends movie:
I am exited for so you think you can dance tomorrow.
I am sad it is ending. It's been the only thing I turn the TV on for this summer.
I seriously need Mary Murphy from SoYo to take it down a notch. Lots of notches.

Come on and join in the randomness, leave me a comment with a random thought. Go on, I'm waiting....