thoughts

key tones, hyperglycemia hypoglycemia, endocrinology, humilog, lantis, glucagon correction injections, carb injections....
This week my brain desperately wanted to explode.

But my heart did instead.

It is too full of gratitude, love, pride, and joy in this little girl.




I don't know if I can think of a stronger little girl.
I don't know if I could at 30, handle all the changes she has this week as well as she is.



In the hospital I lay awake every night thinking.
I think lots.
I think about how uncomfortable these "beds" are, but glad I can stay with Hailey.
I think about how loud and beepy hospitals are but glad I can be in the best of the best.
I think about how hard it is to have this disease but how blessed we are to have a name and expectations and a way to manage it.
I think about how perfect and fitting this year's family theme of courage is now.

But
I never wonder why because I already know...
Because she is strong.
Because she can be a light.
Because she can do anything.

And because I needed to spice my life up a little more.

and spicy it will be.

Desperate times call for desperate measures

Sometimes in life you want things. Things you can’t have.

And when that happens you just have to face it and make due.

Little brothers were not on Hailey’s list of wants, but she has courageously adapted.

And now Hailey has reason to smile…

Because little brothers aren’t the end of the world.

Little brothers can still be eager students.

They can be willing participants.

They can be adoring fans.

And they can give the best hugs.

Life can still be good with those little boys around.

smellier perhaps, but still good.

too much of a good thing

One day last week when I was elbow deep in some family crafting time with my mother and sister in laws, Hailey came home and asked to have a friend over. A girl named Emma who had never been here before. I graciously said yes and her mom brought her over and we met briefly and made arrangements for her to be picked up at 5:30. Jonas played with the girls and it seemed like they all were having a great time. At about 5:10, the kids asked if they could go outside and again, I graciously answered yes. Whenever someone in this house mentions the word "outside", Caleb's ears perk up and he comes running. He decided to join the fun.
5:30 came, and I was still elbow deep in a craft, when the doorbell rang. I asked Brian if he would quickly call the kids in while I went to answer the door. The mom and I chatted for a little bit and Brian wasn't coming with the kids. I figured he must not have heard me ask him to grab them, so I told the mom to just hang on I would call the kids in from the back yard.

Only they weren't there.

Brian had been calling. They weren't answering. I called. No answer. My in laws joined in the calling; no answers.
It is at this moment I realized I had to go back in the house and tell that mom that I kind of misplaced her kid temporarily.
That was rather embarrassing.
Everyone then spread out searching for the kids, while I awkwardly tried to carry on a casual conversation with the mom who was playing it cool too, but I am sure was thinking how much she would like to give social services my name and number. After 30 minutes of calling and searching, Brian jumped on the four wheeler and head to the gully about half a mile behind our house.

And that is where we found them all, giant walking sticks in hand, going on a leisurely stroll through the fox invested gully.

Brian, in his meanest dad voice, told them to move it back to the house asap and rode back to tell us he found them. I looked at the mom and said, "Gosh, I am sorry I lost your kid.. he he. I am sure you will crossing Hailey off Emma's friend list."
She was very nice and assured me it was OK. and that Emma would call Hailey soon and maybe next time they could play at THEIR house.
Hailey has yet to be invited.
After they left, I lay into my lecture very politely asking the kids what was going through their brains. The thought didn't occur to any of them to ask permission. Hailey said half way through their journey she asked Jonas if mom knew they were doing this, and Jonas replied nonchalantly that I did not. She said she knew then she was in trouble but couldn't turn back on her own. So no one had an answer for me. Why would they do something so bold, so dangerous, so clearly against the rules?
I can only come up with this.



courage.
I am thinking maybe they caught the courage theme wave and rode it a bit too far.
I told them dad and I would have to talk about punishments and get back to them.
Brian and I decided to ground them from friends for the month and have each of them do an extra job for me every day for a week (like clean out the car, scrub the shower..). When Jonas heard this, he begged and pleaded to change the job part of the punishment to no xbox. (This works for him, because he plays xbox about three times a year.) I said that no, this punishment was going to stay. To which he dramatically stated this was THE WORST PUNISHMENT HE HAD EVER RECEIVED IN HIS LIFE.

Brian looked at me and said, "We are so not doing our job as parents."

We see now, that our theme, courage, needs to be had by us as as parents as we increase the severity of our children's punishments. Because there is just no way Jonas can have an angst ridden teenage existence if the worst punishment he ever received was an extra chore.

in stitches...

In keeping with our theme of this school year, COURAGE, I decided to do something crazy. Something majorly courageous and intimidating. Something that required this old thing:


(I told you it was old.)

It was scary. I could barley recall how to thread the thing. Just look at how intimidating the presser foot looks:

It looks like it could decapitate you very slowly and painfully right?

But I pressed forward through the fear to make these:



and these:
And you know what the craziest thing is? I am pretty sure you can all actually decipher what they are....
PILLOWS!!
It's pretty cool.

Then the craft princess demanded to join in on the fun.
Hailey thought she had died and went to craft heaven learning a new skill. she went crazy sewing little pillows and messing around with the different stitches. As I sat with her, I realized that this sewing thing, is more than stepping out of my comfort zone to learn something, but it's also teaching my daughter. But most importantly, its giving me an excuse to spend time with her. A chance to let her babble at me to her hearts content... saying things like, "mom? camping would be SOOO much better if you could do it in a hotel." (to which I replied "AMEN". To which she asked me why I said that if we are not in church, to which I said, "I don't know", to which she said, "you're weird." to which I tickled her repeatedly.)



moral of the story? sewing in a straight line is like, cool.

The jury is still out though, on sewing with any sort of difficulty involved.

end of summer

We marked the end of summer with our annual fancy family dinner.
Basically its the same old dinner just served on nice plates and goblets holding sparkling pear juice. Oh, and I make dessert.

We reviewed the summer fun.

There was the time Caleb pooped on out front porch for all the neighborhood to see.
The time porter peed in his own face for once.
The time mom threw up while driving on windy canyon roads.
The time uncle Jared did something unmentionable while floating in a raft.
Then the time Caleb received the family's first set of stitches.

Surprisingly though, our summer revolved around more than just gross bodily functions.

There were summer camps,
camping trips,
fishing excursions,
swine flu quarantines,
midnight movie marathons,
lots of happy hour runs to Sonic,
Swimming, swimming, and more swimming.

This summer was full. It was good.
And it is over.

Now onto our new school year and our theme:



Courage.

Courage to make new friends.
Courage to break our bad habits.
Courage to try new things.
Courage to do the hard stuff.
Courage to be our best selves.

Assuming you do this (which you should; and it's not too late to start), what would your family theme be?