He Would Like to Note This is Not an Autobiography

I love reading a good book and frequently that becomes a problem. I can't stop. The laundry doesn't get done. Dishes don't get washed. Kids can be seen eating cereal for dinner. I have been known to take the book in the car to read at stop lights, OK? I have always been this way with a good book. I blame this illness on my mother who is infected with the "read until you drop" syndrome. My mom is always reading something and is always struggling to put it down. She has passed the syndrome onto me as well as a few of my siblings. I guess I should have known that this disease would infect my kids. And it has. The reading bug is in full swing with Jonas. It started with the Spiderwick Chronicles series and now it is whatever he can get his hands on lately. As hard as it is to get him to put the dang book down sometimes, I must admit I love to see him reading for fun. No XBOX, no computer, no television...just a little boy and his imagination. That sits really well with me. I am looking forward to the day when all of the family can read and we can have our own little family read a thons. Maybe we could even read the classics together. And by classics, I mean Harry Potter. Hey, I didn't say I was an accomplished reader.

Because As A Sisterless Girl, Who Else is She Going to Share Clothes With?

I didn't have a Best Friend for Life when I was five. The closest thing I had to it was a neighbor named Sarah . I played at her house on occassion but she was never aloud to play at my house. I think largely in part because, on our little street in Kansas, we were known as the crazy mormon family with seven kids and who knows what those mormons could do? Maybe we would brain wash her or just steal her one day and keep her to ourselves, or worse... make her a childhood bride!! Needless to say she wasn't really a BFF. So I think I had to settle for my brothers. Which were really poor friends for a little girl. I mean I could only be She-Ra so many times, before I started wondering whether there was anything more in life. To date my oldest, still-going-strong friendship is with Brooke, whom I have known since I was 12. Seventeen years is a pretty impressive lifespan for a friendship, don't you think? But I have a feeling that Hailey will have me beat in this department. She is really starting young. Her BFF, Berkeley has been her BFF since the womb. For over 5 years, this friendship between Hailey and Berkeley has been strong, but it hasn't always been this cute. There was a lot of toy stealing and tantrums in the first few years, but now it mostly is all sugar and spice. Berkeley fulfills Hailey'd need to be understood; someone who really understands just how important glitter really is. And Barbies. And the color pink. And High School Musical. I hope they will continue their friendship through the years, and I hope they will always understand each other. Because I am sure I won't in 10 years.

Not Just Any Pile of Laundry; This is Throw Up Laundry

I heard somewhere the definition of crazy is doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result. This is what I was thinking about at 3:52 am. I was scrubbing throw up out of sheets and towels all night and kicking myself that I was crazy enough to take my kids to a McDonald's play place. Seriously, every time we go there, some kid comes back with some kind of illness. I was just trying to do something fun for Caleb's birthday and I was CRAZY enough to think I would get a different result. WRONG. I mean would it be too much to ask to have them clean those things even ONCE a day? I mean, just hose the suckers down every now and then. Better yet, how about someone create a place with GOOD FOOD and a play place that is somewhat clean? I mean, why has no one picked up on the fact that people go to McDonalds for their kids, not because the cuisine is divine? I guess I should just learn from my mistakes and ban the play places to all swanson children. It's either that or let them go in a bubble suit. Anyone know where I can get one of those?

Channeling His Inner Irish schoolgirl Napoleon Dynamite

I have about run the gammet on ways to demonstrate that this kid is unique. And I think that after showing this picture it clearly hits the nail on the head and I can put the matter to rest for a while. The strong will this kid can display in order to venture out in public like this is amazing. And let me tell you, he normally gets his way. If he has clothes on, he gets his way. Embarassing? Maybe there are moments when I see mothers with children who enjoy wearing shoes that don't look like a nerdy movie character, and they have their hair all combed cute and they arent wearing random plastic hats or any girls paraphenelia, I think about how I wish I could have him dressed all cute and not have to fight with him in order to do it. But then I remember that in 11 years he will be a teenager. He will likely be a punk teenager with a bad attitude and maybe even treat me disrespectfully at times. And then I realize I will need something to threaten him with. So, for now I will keep snapping my photo evidence for a better tommorrow.

This is Age 2 on Crack

MARCH 24, 2008

You know when you are walking around a store and some poor mom is chasing her kid and he is laughing a DEVILISH laugh while she is trying to grab him and keep a hold of the cart and her purse and maybe other children? And she totally looses patience with the kid and you walk past with a half pity for the mother, half gratitude it is not you? Well I always felt that way until this little man came into the picture. Then I was that mom. I am that mom. Everytime I take him somewhere I am that mom. I never understood how moms could have a VERY naughty little kid and still just love the heck out of him. Until now. I never really understood the terrible two phase (well terrible 18months on phase) until now. I don't think I have been as exasperated, embarassed, frustrated, and out smarted until now. But I swear I have never laughed as hard, smiled as big, and have been so entertained before now. Something was definately missing before this little one came into our family. He is our joy. Our joke. Our entertainment. Our bit of sweetness. Our excerxise. And we love him unconditionally. Even if he takes his pants off in the middle of Walmart. He is our baby. So here is to 2 years old today. Hoping for a more calm, more quiet, more obedient year. (a mom can dream can't she?)

Sugar Addicts Unite

Since I have had children of walking age, I find myself wondering, every Easter, who was the genius (term used in an extremely sarcastic tone) behind the Easter traditions? The bunny, the coloring of eggs, the excessive amounts of chocolate, the hiding of plastic eggs, and the stupid fake easter grass that never quite goes away until November? Every easter morning I ponder where that genius person made the jump from Christ to a little bunny rabbit that delivers eggs that it doesn't lay, to all the little children. The connection is lost on me, and believe me, I have tried to find it. And the candy. Oh, the candy. Like I am supposed to enjoy filling up the bodies of my children with cups of sugar and then make them sit through three hours of church. Lovely. And baskets? I do not need another basket in this home let alone one filled with tiny strings of plastic that stick to your feet and hide under every nook and cranny and resurface occasionally, just to give you a little tender reminder of Easter. No matter how hard you try, you never rid yourself from those blasted things. Ever. Then you get to dye eggs. Oh, that is a treat for parents, isn't it? Really, is it just me or does anyone else loathe this? And finally we get to hide eggs and let them look for them, which after all the other festivities just pushes me over the edge and makes me scream (in my head) about how much I hate all the STUPID Easter traditions. But then, every year, something inevitably happens; a moment that softens me. This year it was Caleb who did me in. It was Caleb's first time out on the old hunt. It was cool for him to be outside, he was digging it. Fun to follow the big kids around. Carrying a basket was a bonus too. Finding colorful eggs to put in that basket, was a special treat. But then he looked at the egg. I could see the wheels turning in his head, wondering if it could be that there was more to this hunt than what he had thought. Then it happened. He opened the egg and found all his heart desired: SUGAR!! And he beams up at me and says, "Mooommmmeeeeee?" Which, translated means, "Mother, I am a sugar addict. You know that and I know that. I know that you too have a soft spot for sugar and for my cute face and therefore I know that if I ask you in the nicest way possible with my cute little smile, that you are going to open this little piece of chocolate and let me eat it all by myself. Before breakfast. Thank you." And I did it. And I smiled. I may have had a little fun. But I swear I won't next year.

This is me Learning a Little Slower Than Jonas

This is how I spent my 29th birthday, or as it is referred to the rest of the world, the first day of spring. A little painting with the kids. I don't know what came over me, but I felt like painting a canvas. Ok, now I know these are not great paintings but this was a first try for me. And they were fun. I think I will keep trying and see what happens. For me there is something about creating with your hands that really feels good to me. I wish I was an artist. I am always trying crafty things and loving the process but not loving the finished project. After painting one of the above canvas', I was complaining aloud about the ugliness of it and Jonas stopped me, looked me square in the eyes and said, "Everything you do doesn't have to be perfect. I wish you could realize that." And then he turned away and imparted his wisdom on his little sister on how to properly make a farting noise with your armpit. I have been thinking a little the past few days on his advice and I am going to do my best to take it in. I don't EVER expect perfection from anyone else in my life, but I seem to ALWAYS expect it from myself, and needless to say I am always disappointing myself. So in the spirit of changing, I am going to hang these paintings in my house where I can look at them every day and be reminded that this year, in my 29th year, I am going to learn to accpept the best I can do as good enough.

What I Did on My Computer Vacation

I went to Arizona. I visited my sister in law, Sarah, and her brand spankin' new baby Alexia. Oh and her husband too. I was so excited to see this little one. And she was worth the wait. She was adorable and smelled all newborn like and cuddled and was very patient with us through her little photo shoot. I knew going out there, that I would come back with one of two feelings. #1, that I want and must have one of those little infants immediately. Or, #2, that, as cute, cuddly and yummy smelling as this newborn is, I am very happy to not have one in my constant care at this point in time. I came home feeling #2. I was fairly certain I would feel this way and was relieved to find that I was right. Honestly kid number three, he counts as two sometimes. And there is also the little thing of having a husband in school still. I do however, look forward to maybe one day in the future holding one of my own little new yummy smelling ones. But for now, we will stick with the nieces and nephews.

Back in the Saddle Again

This not so mild look of manic happiness is the general mood around this house. Why, you say? Because yes after exactly a month, we have our life... oops, computer back. It started with a seriously nasty virus and two very computer impared people and ended with a VERY long stay at PC Laptops (Please do not go to that store without discussing my adventures there with me). But we, and the beloved computer, are back togethere after a long separation and we are rejoicing in the sweet, sweet reunion. Seriously it is rather sad to realize how much daily life revolves around the blasted thing. It felt like we had to do EVERYTHING the hard and long way. But no longer people! We are back and hysterically happy about it!!