riding the waves

Changes come at me like small but very fierce ocean waves. Most of the time, the wave knocks me flat, spins me around, turns me upside down and leaves me there to figure out which direction I had been heading before it came to grace me with it's presence. I struggle with change. Almost every single one. I like to buy the same hand soap every month and suddenly: bam! It's discontinued.
What? Now I have to go through the whole dramatic process of finding a not too soapy and not too fruity smelling soap that is also foamy. And what if I get one that is gross smelling and have to use it day after day hating the smell of my hands?
I am strange, yes. But imagine this is your life whenever change comes to you... Sympathy granted? I think so.
Even when the change is good, like my husband graduating in December, I find myself wondering and worrying about what that is going to be like. Having a husband, like, come home? And maybe even help? I have to quickly shake those strange feelings out of my head because they are too foreign.
What really gets me are those unexpected changes. The big unexpected changes. Like pregnancy.
You see, pregnancy and me... we have a love hate relationship. I love when pregnancy leaves me it's last gift, i.e. my children, but I hate everything it gives me before. Like heartburn, the urge to vomit, my disdain for meat, vomit, the way it suddenly makes my husbands after shave smell like something that has been dead a very long time and in of a burial deep in the ground. oh, and the fatigue and the overwhelming urge to vomit.
Yes, that big change has come to us, and no matter how unprepared our little family was, we have to hold hands, let this thrilling but scary tidal wave of change pick us up throw us around and see what we get when we are on firmer ground.
Let's hope the vomiting will stop then.

the vicious cycle....

I have not posted in almost a week, how very unlike me. Actually, that is like me if I have had someone in my household who happens to be seriously ill. And I do. Me. OK well, not all that seriously, but if you haven't caught on to my tendency to lean towards dramatics yet, it's time, 'm kay? But I have been sick and discovered Friday it was the dreaded Strep throat. But it really felt like death. In between vomiting and chills and aches and a swollen, very sore throat, I kept wondering why, when mom is sick, does the world not stop? Why aren't husbands allowed to just drop their job or say, very important last semester and just kneel at your bedside and watch you writhe around in pain? And when you are the mother, who sits there and rubs your back just so you know someone is there? Who feeds the kids? Bathes them? Takes them to school and does homework when mom is sick? What? Me, you say? Grow up and take it like a mom, you say? Ouch, the truth hurts, Internet, it really does. I just wanted a little sympathy, that's all.
Today, after a few doses of antibiotics, I am feeling human again, and I even got my sympathy. I was advised to stay home from church and rest while my husband takes the kids. And I did just that. It felt really nice. I wonder when I will get to be sick again?

anyone else have this problem?

Friday Jonas walked home from school and walked in the door his face bright red, sweat streaming down his face. His back pack was on his front instead of his back. I asked him if he was OK... he grinned at me and dropping his back pack with a loud thunk he said, "ya." I said, "Let me see your back pack." I was looking for letters home to parents, homework, his planner... the usual. He told me casually that he found a rock for his collection. When I got a hold of his back pack I could barely lift it. What the heck is in here Jonas? I unzipped it to find his new rock:

A huge chunk of asphalt. THAT WEIGHED 18 POUNDS.

"Um... Jonas that's not a rock, that is road.... How did you carry this all the way home?
Beaming with pride, he said, "It was really heavy, but it's perfect for my collection!"

It has sat in the corner of his room all weekend,but when he gets home from school today it will have mysteriously disappeared. He will be upset, but for real, an 18 pound chunk of asphalt? I am not that cool a mom.

My question today, does your kid have that annoying thing they like to hang onto that needs to find it's way into oblivion?

Jonas is like a box of chocolates...

When this kid first went to school, he was over the moon excited. I was a ball of nerves. Would he be nervous not knowing anyone? Would he cry when I left him? Would he make friends? Would he follow the teacher's directions? He was bouncing up and down the whole ride to preschool. When I pulled up to the curb, he was out of his seat belt and opening the door when he abruptly froze. It had just dawned on him that I had turned off the ignition. And I was opening MY door. He turned and looked at me with eyes the size of golf balls and said in a completely appalled tone of voice,
"You aren't coming in with me, are you?"
After I swept up the shattered pieces of my heart I replied,
"Well, yes I am because your teacher is going to talk to the parents for a little bit."
He looked down, defeated. He though for a minute, sighed and then said,
"OK. But just don't sit by me."
Ouch.
It was from that point on that I knew I was never going to have that school moment with this particular child where I hug him and tell him I love him and to have a good day. Then he gives me a little kiss and squeezes me back and says goodbye. I accepted it.
But once last year, when dropping him off, I temporarily lost my sanity. He was out on the curb and he looked so grown up and cute I called out,
"LOVE YOU, JONAS!!"
That was the first time I saw a look of pure horror on my child's face. He recovered quickly, acting as if he didn't know the crazy lady in her pajamas in that minivan he just climbed out of, and ran to line up. I learned my lesson. He is just not that into me. Well he is, but just not publicly.
But today, as I was dropping off the carpool, something monumental happened. There we were; the door wide open kids in ear shot... lots of them. And he said,
"Love you, mom. Have a good day." And he leaned over the seat and kissed me on the cheek. IN PUBLIC. In front of his peers. I was barely able to reply "I love you, too" because I was in shock. What brought it on? I have no earthly idea. But it doesn't matter. I drove home feeling like that mother of the year award was in the bag. my bag.

we have a winner....

Thanks for playing... I had fun doing it. I think I will do a little monthly give away for all eight of you that were interested. That gives you really high odds people, really high.

want something for nothing?

Recently I won something. And it rocked. I walked around telling complete strangers I was a winner. OK, I really didn't, but I wanted to. I had so much fun being a winner, that I wanted to share the fun. So, in honor of my 100th post, I want to give something away. Nothing fancy, just something I could pull together in a day and not spend any money on. Why? Because I'm cheap. No, I'm broke. OK, I am both.

I call it the "He said She said" album. Its got pages of questions for you and your significant other to fill out:
It's also got pages all ready to go for 4x6 pictures of your handsome selves:
AND it has customizable pages. Like, you could totally write your names in there:
Does it get any cooler? I think not.
You want it? Comment.
My darling daughter will dress herself all up and pick a name out of a hat probably like Monday. So good luck and may the forces of nature (i.e. the secret) work for you.

a little help from my friends

I am in need of your help... probably everyone in the blog world has heard of Nie and the plane crash she and her husband were in. There has been all sorts of auctions and fund raising going on as they are in for months of recovery and millions of dollars worth of medical woes. Because Nie has been an inspiring example to me, I have been doing what little I can to help by praying for her family and bidding in auctions.
One fun fundraising idea in the works right now is a book. A book of funny blog posts by random people titled, "Sometimes Life is Funny". All proceeds from this book goes to the nie recovery fund. I would like to submit an old blog post, but nothing seems very amusing to me. With the deadline for submissions fast approaching I enlisted the help of my husband, and he helped narrow down a few old blog posts. I would LOVE if you could read and vote on the one you think is the best. Then I will submit and see what happens. Either way, I plan on buying this book and laughing at other people's expense. It is what I do best.

#1 my kitten poster must have been lost in the mail

#2 Weekend adventures

#3 Why I, a woman don't desire a bigger closet

#4 Job Satisfaction II

post 100

Back in January I started this here blog because I wanted to. No great reason, really. I just felt like it. I thought it would be fun and I am all about fun and not the opposite of fun which is taking your three sick kids to mutual with you and staying way past bedtime. Also not fun? Loosing you child in Walmart, then being so relieved you find him you start to push away the wrong cart and don't realize that you have the wrong cart until you are on the opposite end of the store and wanting to dig through your purse for the list, only wait! there is no list... BECAUSE THERE IS NO PURSE.. BECAUSE YOU HAVE THE FREAKIN WRONG CART, MORON! Then you race back to find your cart untouched. (gratefully.)
Back to the point, more than just fun, I have gained things from this blog. I don't think I have gained a hundred things, so let me just do a top ten and pretend each one counts for 10 'mkay?

1. Friends. You like me! You really like me! Or you humor me. Or you tolerate me. Frankly, I don't really care, it's just nice to feel a little love.
2. Time. What, you say? Gaining time by starting a blog? Well if you completely stop actually speaking to your friends, writing in a journal and scrapbooking then you gain a little time. How am I using all my extra time? Blog stalking. What better use of time is there as a mom to three young kids who rely on me for their well being?
3. Knowledge. Lots of it. For real. like, I had no idea that I was sarcastic. NONE. Until I began writing again. Maybe that is what that college professor was referencing when he gave me a giant A on my paper but under it wrote: LAY OFF THE SARCASM. Something to ponder.
4. Something new to waste time thinking about in the middle of the night. When I am roused from sleep for any reason in the night, I have this rather unfortunate condition that causes me to NEVER FALL BACK ASLEEP. I start thinking of random things like: who chooses the music in elevators or on the weather channel and why haven't they been relieved of their duties? And what do bon bons actually taste like? And why was this show cancelled?
5. Bargaining power. Now that I am blogging my family is constantly doing embarrassing things and then immediately turning ghostly pale and exclaiming, "DON'T PUT THAT ON THE BLOG!" So now, when I want something and they refuse, all I have to do is threaten to post something like this.



6. Peace. Peace in knowing that there are a lot of you out there that keep it real. That live a real life, and aren't afraid to admit that a little bad comes with all the good.
7. A better understanding of computers. Actually this isn't really true at all. I just want it to be.
8. A reason to check my email. Because frankly, I have tired of HOTSINGLES emailing me telling me someone wants to get in touch with me. It's just lost it's appeal.
9. A knowledge of things that are hip or stylish. No matter how disgusting they are.
10. And finally, perspective. A lot of times you can find yourself wondering if you measure up. At least, I know I do. And through blogging and blog reading and blog stalking, I have come to realize that who I am is who I am, and that is good enough.


Also coming up, continuing the celebration with special scrappy give a way. I just need to get me and my family some general health and well being back first. Oh, and my sanity.

one of those friday nights...

What kind of mother takes her kids to their first carnival and doesn’t bring the camera?

The kind who didn’t feel up to taking her kids that day, but goes out of motherly duty.

What kind of mom lets her kids run around carnival without their shoes in the sticky mess of spilled sno cones and cotton candy?

The same kind that takes her kids to their first carnival and doesn’t bring the camera.

What kind of mom goes to the carnival and lets her kids eat nothing but cotton candy and sno cones?

The same kind that lets them walk around shoe less.

What kind of mom doesn’t bring wipes for her sticky faced children?

The same kind that lets them eat nothing but sugar.

What kind of mom puts her kids in time out right upon arrival home?

The same kind that lets her kids eat nothing but sugar.

What kind of mom then reads the shortest story possible at bedtime so she can just tuck them in and have a little peace and quiet?

The kind of mom who didn’t want to take her kids to the carnival but goes out of motherly duty.

Children happy. Motherly duty fulfilled. Mission accomplished.

ps... my next blog post is my 100th! any post/celebratory ideas for such a special occasion?

Just wondering...

I did something today. I broke a general rule of mine.
And that rule is to not to eat anything that tastes like cardboard.
Or Crap.
I ate one of my mother in law's protein bars.And crappy cardboard is exactly what it was reminiscent of.
After the strong desire to gag and spit passed, I began to wonder exactly when is it on the road to healthy living that you decide crappy tasting is worth it. I mean I think I would rather not eat. Anorexia, here I come!

So it begins...

After much anticipation, and much debate over what to wear, it came. THE FIRST DAY OF KINDERGARTEN.

The girl could not have been more excited. She really couldn't have and stayed in tact. The grin was busting off her face. The oatmeal was consumed without tasting it. The clothes were put on at light speed, but the glitter lip gloss, well that took a whole 5 minutes. Because you just cannot be careful enough when it comes to lip color, can you? Whose daughter is she anyway?
I gave her lots of advice yesterday morning. Advice I am sure she didn't care about and didn't remember 2 minutes after I said it, but she smiled and nodded at the appropriate times anyway. She knows the way to her mommy's heart. Fake attention. Nothing better than that.

I told her to be nice.
What I meant was, watch yourself and do not think you are better than anyone else.
I told her to listen well.
What I meant was drink in everything you are taught. you are building a foundation, build it strong and well.
I told her to look for the girl that everyone seems to ignore and ask her to play.
What I meant was, do unto others as you would have them do unto you, because one day you just may be the girl who feels invisible.
I told her to be brave.
What I meant was, I know how much you want to turn into yourself, but please let the world see your beauty.
I told her to have a good day.
What I meant was I love you, I will miss you, and how did you get this big?
And you know what? She really did.

What's up with me lately, part 2

Hey y'all, I've hijacked mom's computer again. She is busy getting Hailey off on her first day of school. People keep asking my mom what she is going to do with her time now that my brother and sister are off to school. She tells them her plans. I laugh. Because I have other plans for her. She should know better.
So what I have been doing lately is learning a lot of new tricks and behaviors. First off, I have found a new "picture face." I just get dead serious like this:


And I won't smile for anything. I can tell it bugs my mom, therefore I will continue doing it.

But my favorite new trick is spitting. I love it. I spit on people even when they are being nice to me. Total strangers, family, friends, I don't discriminate. I am an equal opportunity spitter.
Another thing I have been really into, is throwing balls. And since I am not your average kid, I went ahead and put a little spin onto it; I only throw really hard balls. Inside. At people. When they are not looking. And then I laugh and run away. The time outs are a breeze, and totally worth it. It is so funny.
But lately I have been wanting to do something more. I felt my behavior was, well, almost good. Too good. So I did some thinking:
And I decided to get sick and make it a point to throw up everywhere I could. It was very effective, and I highly recommend it.
It is so great being 2. I am loving every minute of it. So is my mom. I'm sure of it.

Wanted: your opinions

OK, first off, I just want to say stick with me through this post. I really want some opinions on this.
OK, so bad news... I am talking politics. Wait! Don't go! I am not going to go off on some random tangent about something.
Let me start with this: I hate politics today. It all seems like one big fake argument for argument's sake. This upcoming election has seemed really depressing to me because I have felt like I have no one to back. No one that I want to see as President of the country I live in, that my children live in. So I have pretty much ignored it. I am just too sick of fake people pretending they want what's best for the American People when they really want what is best for themselves.
Fast forward to Friday. My husband, knowing my disdain for the two candidates running, excitedly asked me if I heard who was selected as the running mate (that is a cool term for vice president. I am SO knowledgeable.) for John McCain.
I was like, "um no, and i don't care. but thanks for asking. what did you have for lunch today?"
And he was like, "no! mel! It's a woman! No, I mean like, a mom! You'd like that!"
And I was all, "OK Bri, I am hearing this from what you just said: Translation: being as you are like a real mom type woman, i am sure you would vote for someone just because she is seems like a real mom type of woman, because you are so dense you would vote for whatever looks like you without making an educated decision.
Then I'm all, "So, is that what you are telling me?"
And he, rather exasperated by me, (it's OK, he gets that way a lot with me. I can tend to be a teensy weensy bit exasperating. So I am told.) says "please just Google her, and read about her for me. Tell me what you think."
So I did.
And here is what I think:
This woman, Sarah Palin, a wife to a blue color oil worker, mother of 5 kids, one of which is serving in the Army and on his way to Iraq, was pretty cool. I watched her speech, and it seemed to me one of the most real political speeches I have ever heard. From what I read about her she seems like she is really just out to do the right thing, which was really refreshing and she had me thinking, "Could I vote for her for president?"
But I haven't really studied up on her, so who knows if what she says is all a bunch of crap; I wouldn't be surprised if it is. I was just wondering what you all thought of her.
So, your homework assignment today boys and girls is to watch the speech (fast forward to about minute 10:30) and tell me what you think.
And don't worry, I grade on a very large curve.