let me count the ways...

A while ago, Brian's brothers were trying to coax him into buying some xbox game so they could play together online at night. This is something they used to have fun doing together, pre-kids. Brian told them (probably with a little reluctance) he doesn't have time for that anymore. Fed up with Brian's same standard excuse, one of his brothers blurted out, "What DO you do at night, man?"
Brian had to recount this to me when he got home. It made him laugh because couldn't really answer that question. It just seemed to him that there wasn't enough hours in the day anymore to get to everything he'd like to do.

I thought about that all night that night because it made me realize how much I love my husband.

Allow me to explain. (You are dying to hear, right?)

I love who he was.

The dude that people called Schwanii. The guy who used to write songs about how I broke his heart. The guy who wasn't embarrassed to sing in front of hundreds of people, but who would have been shaking with nerves at the thought of talking to someone on the phone. The guy who wanted to be a dad, but had never changed a diaper or held a newborn.


I love who he is.

My husband. The guy that I have known for 15 years, and that I have watched grow into an amazing man.
My husband, the man that gives so much of himself to his family and his neighbors, and to others around him, that he doesn't have much time for himself.
My husband, the man that has never complained about the things you have to give up to become a parent.
My husband, the man who takes his kids out to play because he wants to, not because he has to.
My husband, the man who will watch chick flicks without complaining because he wants to be with me.

I just love how who he was and who he is have grown together.


My husband who used to write for his band but now writes songs for his daughter.
My husband who used to play computer games after work, but now spends his time pushing kids on the swing.
My husband who used to play basketball with the guys in the morning, but who now plays basketball in the driveway with his kids until dark.
My husband that used to laugh at the way I devour a book, Now stays up until 2am because he couldn't put a book down.
My husband who used to sleep in, but now gets up early to work in the yard.
My husband who used to stay up late talking on the phone to me, now falls asleep talking next to me.

He is the best version of himself, and I wouldn't change a single thing.

(except the way he "cleans" house, the way he folds his socks together before throwing them in the dirty clothes, his snoring, and his toenails. Oh my, his toenails...)