Today my maternity leave is up. My baby is six weeks old.
No, I didn't suddenly get a real, live, paying job.
By "maternity leave", I mean "Using the baby as an excuse not to do stuff".
For example,
It will no longer be acceptable to eat cereal for dinner.
I no longer have a "Get out of Church Free" card.
It will no longer be acceptable to go three weeks without vacuuming my stairs.
It would now be uncouth to answer the door in my pajamas at noon.
Yes, now I will have to go back to pretending.
Pretending that I would never feed my kids cereal for dinner (happens at least once a week).
Or that I am not ever bored in church, daydreaming about the food I am going to pounce on when I get home (happens weekly).
Or pretend that I even vacuum my stairs. (husband does it when he is disgusted enough).
And that pajamas are a thing reserved for nighttime in this house. (It is all day attire around these parts, year round, round the clock).
That is enough to send my into postpartum depression.
Bring on the happy pills! Which in my case come covered in chocolate!
3 comments:
You can ALWAYS use your children as an excuse. That's why we have children. We can blame them for everything.
i am going to go into a depression after reading that cereal and pajamas aren't acceptable unless you have the pregnancy excuse. i am pretty sure you just described my life.
and wait for it......i can't believe luke is 6 weeks. THAT IS JUST RIDICULOUS.
i hate time.
I love reading your blog because you are real. So, I just wanted to say thanks. And . . . eleven? Holy crap. There should be an award for you.
And I really hope that all those things you said about stopping after 6 weeks aren't true. My baby is 16 months old and my 4 year old still asks me almost daily "Are those your pajamas?" half way through the day. I lie and tell him they are my exercise clothes even though they have definitely not been exercised in.
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