When I was five years old, I was certain that I would not live to see six. There were just too many monsters in the closet and under my bed. There were werewolves outside just waiting for their chance to slip in and devour a little girl all alone in the dark.
And my parents didn't care.
Okay, so maybe they did the first 100 times I told them, but after that they just stopped.
I was not allowed to sleep in their bed. (injustice!)
So instead when I woke in the night to the sounds of monsters and creatures and all things terrible, I rushed to my parents' room and lay down on the floor near their bed...
as far away from the door as possible.
I would lay there, trying to accept my certain death and think scornfully how sorry my parents would be when they woke and saw that I was devoured and they did NOTHING to protect me.
How sorry they would be!
side note: I am aware that this admission admits to my tendency to slightly over dramatise things. And by "slightly", I mean massively.
What I didn't know then is that monsters and werewolves aren't real, that it really sucks to have small children sleep with you, and that you will be punished for your crimes against your parents.
How is that, you ask?
By having children and becoming parents and being forced to go through what they went through.
Caleb is convinced that there are monsters under his bed, giant spiders hiding in every nook and cranny waiting to bite him when adults aren't looking, and creepy clowns in his closet.
And nothing makes it better like sleeping in between mom and dad. Only I don't enjoy getting punched in the face intermittently during my slumber, and Brian doesn't enjoy a constant foot in the back.
So recently we had to banish him from our bed and sentence him to the recliner.
And as he whines every night unwilling to accept his impending doom, I silently say my penance to my parents and wonder when my forgiveness will come.
Because I am really a big fan of sleep.
6 comments:
haha! i love it. i have a monster in my bed too... his name is garrett.
oh by the way he is getting a sister! :)
So funny! My boys haven't hit the monster stage, but tend to wander in our room around 5am each morning. That's when the kicking begins....but usually they're wide awake, refusing to let their eyelids droop, kicking me in the head to get a rise out of me. So fun. One day Caleb will know why you banished him to the chair and appreciate that kindness. At least he isn't sent back to his room!
Oh my heck. My kids still do this. And sissy Jeff lets them come in. Lucky for me I sleep like the dead now (thank you melatonin) and I pop out of bed at 7 to see the sleeping angel faces. They snuggle Jeff because he's the one that's warm. I am not only cold but give the cold shoulder. Also, Wyatt's 8years old. 8! He STILL does it almost every night. So there is no cure!
I say whatever works. A momma needs her sleep.
Ryan still does this all the time. David and I bought a new bed a couple of years ago and Ryan decided he liked it better. We can't get him out! So we let him all asleep in our bed ans then move him back to his own. Good thing I don't sleep at night or this may be a huge problem.
Oh man. Monsters. I remember hating them and being afraid of them. I'm glad Kennedy isn't afraid of monsters. Her fear is bad dreams, which I can totally relate to. We only allow her to sleep in our bed on VERY rare occasions.... because I, too, am a big fan of sleep.
You are so not overly dramatic.... ... ...
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