inside my thoughts...

It's been a while since I have seen my husband. 5 weeks, I think.
He is away for work.
I don't really know when he gets back. It could be next week., next month, or in the fall.

My kids miss him.
I miss him.
At the dinner table last night we couldn't get over his empty chair. We talked about how we know what he would say.
We talked about what we miss about him.
We miss his guitar playing. Like a soundtrack to our lives, it's always there.
We miss Tetris Talk. (Tetris talk is where you play Tetris on mute for what seems like an eternity and you have in depth conversations about life.)
We miss his ability to fix stuff, cause I can't.
We miss his truck pulling into the driveway, because that means all the pieces to our family are here. That we are whole.

I can't really articulate it well, other than to say we miss his presence. That our family isn't complete without him, and our daily lives feel it.
It makes me feel for so many women who are the mother and father to their kids every single day.
It makes me feel for the kids who don't have a dad to wait for anymore.
It makes me feel for all the dads out there working for their families (or their country) who would love nothing more than to be home with their families.

Then it makes me grateful.
For so many thoughtful friends and amazing family members to help me.
For Skype and for speaker phone, helping us to feel like a whole family for a few moments every day.
For kids who are wonderful.
For a husband who will do anything for his family.
And for bedtime. I really really love the quiet that comes after bedtime.

And that's what I have been thinking lately.

Fascinating, really.