No offense but….
It’s probably never a good idea to start a blog post OR a conversation with those three words.
The other day I was talking to someone. Someone I don’t know very well. Someone who doesn’t know me very well either. We were talking in a small group when she said this:
“No offense, but I will never be one of those mini van driving moms. I just could never do it.”
I said nothing. I AM one of those mini van driving moms. I was confused. I didn’t know driving a mini van shoved me into a category in which I would be deemed good or bad or “that kind of a person”.
It’s a car.
What does it, or could it possibly say about me?
That I am practical? That I am a mother? That I don’t want my kids touching each other so I need to drive a car big enough that they can all be arms length distance from one another to avoid screaming at all costs?
Because those things are all true.
But I honestly don’t understand those people who look at a vehicle like it’s some kind of extension of your being. It’s a way to get around, people. It’s a way to get around and have your kids get out of the car without having to swing open a door which if you have ever had a child you know what a hazard that is when parked next to other vehicles.
I know that this woman “didn't mean any offense” but didn't she make a judgment about me and other moms like me? Like that we were something lesser than because we did something as uncool or cliche as buying a car with sliding doors?
I know this lady isn’t alone in her assessment. I have heard lots of friends and family say things similar, even those who read this blog and I would really like to know…
What is the big deal with driving a mini van?
I promise I won’t judge, and I would love some feedback.
14 comments:
ummmmmmmm no comment. ditto to what you said! i'm a mini van driver & i'm proud of it!!! i would never drive something that my kids could touch each other at arms length either!
now nate might have another story but, i'm stickin to mine!!! :)
It is sooo totally uncool, Mel.... which, to be perfectly honest, is what I've thought as a teenager and up until now. Now that I have a child, and I know I only have one, the idea of a minivan doesn't sound so awful. In fact it sounds nice. And for all the reasons you stated. I don't know if I changed my mind because I have a kid, or if its because I'm finally growing up.
Who freakin' cares what vehicle someone drives!
I am definatley pro mini van. I drive one and I LOVE it. I have to admit that most of my friends don't but they also seem to have more problems with their SUVs than I do with my van. I say stick with the van...I am at least until my last kid is a teenager :)
Love the post. I was one of those who said they would NEVER have a mini van and now I don't think you could get me out of it. All the room---the glorious room. People who make the comments about mini vans have never had the experience of owning one :) I'm not saying I'll have it forever (trust me I miss the days of the subaru like nobodies business). But for now mini vans rock!
I used to say that too...but last time we went to buy a car I seriously wanted an odyssey. Ryan was worried that he's be called as a scout leader if he had a van, so we ended up with the SUV. I think with little kids the van is definitely the way to go...you can actually stand inside the car when it's snowing like crazy to do everyone's seatbelts and carseats! People are just wierd about cars I guess!
Ok...it is so a Utah thing. We bought our van when we lived in IL and nobody said boo about it. Our church parking lot was scattered with vans. People drove them because they are practical and are great for kids. Anyone with two or more kids had them. I went there with the Utah stigma about vans and soon realized what you have just posted that it is just a car and doesn't determine who you are or where you are going...ok that is does in a literal sense but not figuratively. I honestly was worried about coming to Utah with my van. People are so ignornant sometimes and just don't understand. It irks me. I have had people say to my sisters....I can't believe Danielle drives a mini van. Yep, I have stooped and now am on a lesser level. Lucky for me they have stood up for me and professed how wonderful they are with small children. I am a mini van advocate. I wouldn't trade mine for the world. I just wish it had 4 wheel drive and that's it. Next time you hear a comment about a van tell them that they should rent one and see how they like it. A friend of mine was a little anti and went on vacation and rented a van with automatic doors and she is now hooked. Can't stop talking about how she loves my 10 year old van! She wants one so badly. So there you have it. People shouldn't speak about things they know nothing of. If just makes them look dumb and you look smart. I think you are cool and smart and awesome. No matter what car you drive!
Hm... I think my "fear" of minivans stems from when I was a teenager and the only car I was allowed to drive was our '82 light blue plymouth voyager (van), which had a front headlight dangling out of its socket, and both tail lights were smashed in. And the sliding door was busted so it wouldn't latch all the way. Not to mention the duct tape holding the side view mirror in place. Imagine the embarrassment of a hormonal teenager.
HOWEVER.
That being said, I can totally understand why people with a few kids would want to have a minivan. They are extremely functional and very roomy. If I had 3 or 4 kids, I would totally get one. And I don't judge you.
And btw- now that I'm no longer a teenager, I am totally fine with driving a p.o.s. car with busted tail lights and tuct taped mirrors. And of course I'll make Kennedy drive it when she's older.
And one last thing to add to my novel: any time someone says "No offense, but...", they're just hoping that their little disclaimer can protect them from getting punched in the face because of the offensive comment they're about to make...
Then end.
I used to swear I would never drive one. Any time I would borrow my Grandmas I cringed. I just think they are ugly. But..now I want one so bad. I don't care what people think about them anymore. Like you mentioned, I seriously need to separate my kids so there is less screaming and fighting in the car. One day, one day.. I will get my new dream car. :)
You want to know what I can't stand...Cadilac Escalades. They bug me bad.
I'm a minivan driving Mom. Infact I drive your minivan. Well your parents van. I love love love it. Doesn't seem like it takes a ton of brains to figure out that it is the cheapest and best way to accomodate a large family.... but whatever.
With my kids so close I find I have lost control of A LOT of things in my life. I do what I have to as a mom. Some women don't want to lose that control and driving a mini-van represents much of that. They want to "look good". I've actually heard someone say they didn't want more kids than they can look "good" with.
I say hooray for those of us mini-van driving mom's who are brave enough to lose what we used to have and be in order to gain the greatest blessings and joy we could ever experience! And yes, driving a mini-van is a joyous experience with little ones :)
Like many who have commented before me, I used to think a SUV was the way to go...but of course now I have seen the light:) We bought our last car with the knowledge that as soon as we outgrow it (like have three kids) we are on to a mini-van. Simply the fact that you can walk through it is enough of a selling point in itself for me!
I love how people start out by saying "no offense, but..." when they down right know they are going to offend someone. I'm with you on practicality, and as long as you get from point a to point be safely who cares what you drive. I'm sure we'll be investing in one someday too.
That comment says nothing about you, but says everything about the speaker.
Oh how many times we've had this conversation! Looks like you touched a nerve! Ha!
I agree with Kara. There's also that little conversation about what brand minivan you drive....
Post a Comment