motherhood: in stages

I had a realization today. There are 4 stages of motherhood. Well at least four that I have experienced. And being the completely self involved person that I am, I am going to say that there are four stages. And that they repeat themselves as your children grow.
And because I am really not completely self involved I will share with you my wisdom and list the stages here in this fabulously interesting blog post...

stage one/child one: you think you have it all figured out.

Your kid is a great sleeper so you are sure you found the secret.
or breast feeding is a breeze and you pat yourself on the back thinking you did that all yourself. Or your kid never throws tantrums. You convince yourself that it is all thanks to your great mothering abilities. Life is scheduled with routines that are rarely interrupted. The house is clean, you child has shiny new clothes on. YOU have shiny new clothes on.
You stare in horror and those mothers who loose it on their kids at Target.

Stage two/child two: You see that you have nothing figured out.

Your second kid doesn't behave like the first and you realize that it was pure luck or blessing that you had a good sleeper, nurser or tantrum less kid the first time around. You realize that your children's habits have less to do with your mothering abilities and more to do with their little sprouting personalities. Life is scheduled but you rarely keep to it. The house is a mess but with a little help you can whip it back into shape every now and then. Your child's clothes are new but not as cute as they used to be since you are buying for price rather than look. Your clothes are no longer shiny and new.
You can empathize with those mothers who loose it on their kids in Target.

Stage three/three: You are wondering what is even going on.

You begin to think that maybe your KIDS are the ones who have it all figured out because as you are helping number one scrub off a bottle of permanent ink they decided to spill on their body, number two is crying because apparently you don't love her anymore, and kid number three is in the corner quietly and swiftly shoving fistfuls of sugar cereal in his mouth BECAUSE HE CAN. You begin to believe you have no mothering abilities. Your house is in a constant state of mess and deep clean is a distant memory. Your child's clothes are no longer shiny or new because they are all hand me downs that are perpetually a size to big or too small. Your clothes are stained with bodily fluids of your children and you don't even notice or care.
You ARE the mother that looses it on her kids in Target.

Stage four/child four: You realize that what you thought you had figured out doesn't matter anyway.

You begin to realize that nothing is ever thanks to you, but rather a blessing given to keep you sane. The tantrums don't even phase you anymore as they are a part of life with small children; you take it all in stride. You have long stopped worrying about when your kid walked or sang the ABC's because you realize it all works out in the end. You realize that good mothering has less to do with how your child eats or sleeps or when they reach the milestones, but how well they know they are loved and how well they know who they are, and that they love themselves. Your children run around in their underwear most of the time and you don't even bat and eye at it anymore. You have come to peace with the fact that the house (and your old clothes) will never be perfect but that it's good enough... just like you. You see that what really matters more than those things, is the quality time spent with your kids, the laughter, the learning, the growing, and even the trials, because they are all the little things that make your life uniquely yours and that is the best joy of all.
Oh, and you you don't even notice the mothers loosing it on their kids at target anymore.