Jonas will probably hate me, but I have to do this.
Plus I figure he is ten years old. I only have about 3 more years of him liking me anyway, so why bother right?
He wrote a paper for school. An essay about his winter break. My job was to proof read it. Normally proof reading his papers are not an enjoyable task because reading his handwriting is like trying to read Hebrew. But this paper was so enjoyable to me, that I zipped through it, bad handwriting and all.
I laughed.
I read it again.
I read it to Brian.
He laughed.
We woke Jonas up and congratulated him on his awesome work.
Then we laughed some more.
I sent it in an email to my parents.
And now I am posting it for your enjoyment:
Immediately when my Christmas break started, I went over to Parker D’s. I came home, went to bed, had some funky dreams, woke up, and it was Saturday. We had our grandparents over and we celebrated my sister’s birthday (even though it was the very next day). And that was pretty much it. On my sister’s birthday she had a special breakfast, lunch and dinner. She also got presents and a birthday cake. That was it for that day.
Monday was my sister’s birthday party. That was when I discovered for myself that girls can be more crazy than boys. You see they were pretending they were Santa Claus and that they had Sleighs. They started flying around stealing little children and taking them back to their workshop to torture them in some horrendous way. What could be stranger than that? And that was just part of it. Then they stampeded down the stairs, acting like tornados, sucking things in and throwing them out. They tore almost everything in the house apart. I was glad when they left.
Well, the next two days were so boring I didn’t even bother writing about them. Just thinking of going through them again makes me want to kill myself just so I can be alone, snug in my coffin with the maggots tickling my spine from the inside. But that is not the point.
So lets just skip to Christmas Eve eve. On that particular day. I had a sleep over planned with my best friend Braden,who lives in Saratoga Springs, that I have known practically my entire life. When I got there, we played Super Smash Bros Brawl, then Zelda, then Guitar Hero. We watched Lord of the Rings, and realized Gollum is a pretty funny character. We went to bed, I had creepy dreams and Braden had dreams that there were ten of himself chasing after him, and then we woke up. We ate breakfast and told jokes that I shouldn’t repeat at school. I went home on Christmas Eve, and our family cleaned the house together. We got some Christmas pajamas and went to my grandparent’s house. We had dinner by candlelight and played games and opened presents that couldn’t wait until Christmas. Then we came home and went to bed.
On Christmas Eve, our family always sleeps in the same room. That night I woke up not once, not twice, not thrice, but seven times and finally got up at 6:30. We all went downstairs to see what we got. I asked for another DS lite because I broke my other one. But I actually got a DSi XL. I almost screamed like a girl but I didn’t cause it would ruin my reputation. I figured out how to work it and ate an awesome breakfast which I think should be put this way: Eating Heaven. I opened presents and gave presents. My last present was from my dad. I opened it and it was just a chord. That got me excited. Then he handed me another present; it was an amplifier. I couldn’t speak. Then from behind the tree, he pulled out a long, flat looking gift. I almost choked. It was an Electric guitar! It was a perfect, shiny black color. I went and plugged it in in the corner and felt a lot like Gollum in the Lord of the Rings movie from the night before. It was mine, all mine! My precious! So I had an awesome Christmas.
In the days after I saw Gulliver’s Travels and Harry Potter (I highly recommend both of them). I also went shooting with my dad and uncles. I shot some cool guns. On our way back, we crashed and my dad went to the hospital. Then the doctors came in and told us that I’m joking.
The End.
Seriously, I love it. A writer in the making, I tell you. Not only can I say I knew him when but will be able to say, I pushed that kid out of me! And he was 9lbs 9 ounces so it wasn't even easy!
9 comments:
Where do i start. i was pretty much crying b/c i was laughing so hard. i called Nate & said you need to read this. He was laughing on the last part about "It was mine, all mine! My precious!"
Seriously so funny about Hailey & her friends..... i could go on. i want to keep this one for my files as well!!!
Good Job JONAS. like father like son. :)
OH MY GOSH! What a writer! In his coffin with maggots??!!! And telling jokes (some of which he said he couldn't repeat). He's amazing! and so funny. I sure love Jonas.
Oh, and actually I was thinking he's a lot like his mom with a talent for writing. You both have a way with words!
Seriously! That is awesome. I was laughing my head off.
Love it! And, I love that you post it even though he's going to be mad. He's so much like you, he can tell a great story!
Sorry if my daughter helped tear apart your house!
That was awesome! I feel honored to say he's my nephew :)
Hahaha!! Wow. I'm nearly in tears. He is hilarious. He is one hilarious kid. Congratulations.
Ah that made me and Tyler laugh. He is one smart kid with his mother's personality.
dude, he may look like bri, but seriously-he has your mad writing skills! he is a stud too! love him. and bravo, can you tell him to tell braden to do his homework? ;)
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